I have heard many 'accomplished' people mentioning proudly about their achievements in life - be it intellectual, social or any other. In general being very happy talking about those accomplishments, these people also do not forget expressing their regrets. Regrets like "I had to struggle so hard to come to this position, so had worked day and night, in the process unfortunately could not spend much needed time with the family". They also invariably thank spouses for their understanding nature, and for being patient throught out their life, so that they can better focus and achieve their goals.
That's escapism at its best! You neglect your duties intentionally and try to compensate for all that with few words of regret. Is that what you want to be? My friend, life is all about balancing - you come to this world not only to achieve certain goals, but also to perform your duties first. You are a responsible citizen, a caring spouse, a father/mother, a son/daughter, and you have various roles in the society. If every one in this world ignores one's social responsibilites so as to better concentrate on achieving goals, the world would have been a hell to live in. Try to understand - the satisfaction of being publicly recognised for some great achievements is nothing compared to the inner satisfaction of being a balanced person.
Duties first, Goals next.
That's escapism at its best! You neglect your duties intentionally and try to compensate for all that with few words of regret. Is that what you want to be? My friend, life is all about balancing - you come to this world not only to achieve certain goals, but also to perform your duties first. You are a responsible citizen, a caring spouse, a father/mother, a son/daughter, and you have various roles in the society. If every one in this world ignores one's social responsibilites so as to better concentrate on achieving goals, the world would have been a hell to live in. Try to understand - the satisfaction of being publicly recognised for some great achievements is nothing compared to the inner satisfaction of being a balanced person.
Duties first, Goals next.
2 comments:
Agreed!! But only to an extent. And I'll tell you why.
Sometime back I read an interview of a scientist in ISRO and his wife. The wife was so pissed off his husband's dedication to job and neglectig family for over 30 years, that she directly went to APJ Abul Kalam and complained about it. For that Kalam replied "In your husband's hands lies the security of India. He isn't an ordinary husband and so you shouldn't be thinking as an ordinary wife".
Also in one of the "Koffee with Karan" shows, Jaya Bacchan has said "Not everyone can be a Amitabh Bacchan or Shahrukh Khan. It takes a lot to make them and it is the wives who give it to them"
I'm not trying to make a point that it's ok if you neglect, but there can be unavoidable circumstances to it. You're point is valid, as long as there is scope to make that time fo the family.
@ Punima: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I see that it's not so easy to analayze :-)
It's disturbing to see the trend in today's society that every one goes all out to achieve his/her own goals, and takes for granted that the responsibilities can be ignored in this process. This is what made me to write this post. Now to go little deeper in to this, we need to look at the "motives" and the "net results" of such efforts.
Net results: In both the examples mentioned by you, it is true that the "net" contribution of the person to the society+family is positive. Even though they could not perform their duties as a family member correctly, they've probably more than compensated for that, by their contributions to the society.
Motives: If the reasons are personal motives (competition/desire for recognition), I feel we should strongly condemn such efforts, even if the net contribution is positive. The second example that you've quoted (Amitabh's) falls in this category. In the very limited cases where the motives are genuine social service (your first example), I too feel that such efforts are acceptable. We can only say that it's best if they can achieve their goals by leading a balanced life to the extent possible.
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